Friendship Tips: In a Nutshell
By Elmer R. Esplana, November 19, 2007
What is a friend? Robert Louis Stevenson once said that “A friend is the present you give to yourself.” Dr. Harold Sala of the Guidelines for Family Living fame quoted in his book Living Joyfully as a Single in a Couples’ World, an Arab proverb which says “A friend is one whom we may pour out the contents of our hearts, chaff and grain together, know that the gentlest of hands will sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away!” Actually, what a friend is varies for every person. What is important, however, is for you to at least have one. And if you look for real friendship, the following tips will help you to start one.
1. Take the initiative. Friendship begins as you reach out to someone else. He/She can be your officemate, neighbor, churchmate, classmate, etc. At first, you may be afraid, shy, or nervous but “just do it” anyway. Remember, it is exciting to take the first step towards something worth cherishing and experiencing.
2. Be willing to take risks. Building friendship involves hardwork as well as assuming risks. This is because someone may reject your offer of friendship and hurt you. This is part of life. Many people fear friendships because when one draw closer to someone, he/she has to be open, hence, he/she becomes vulnerable to rejection and heartaches. Openness is an essential key in finding a real friendship.
3. Look for commonalities. Friendship must be about something which involves two or more people who suddenly discover that they see things the same way. You can do that by listening carefully in the conversation for possible “friendship magnets” like hobbies, interests, etc.
4. Learn to communicate. Friendship requires open communication. If you are not keen in one-on-one, you can start developing small groups that could help you build your dynamic skills in one-on-one communication. Always remember that learning to communicate effectively is a process that takes time. Sometimes, you will commit communication errors. But that’s fine. Remember that majority of your errors can be resolved fairly and quickly, if you’re willing to say the magic words: “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”
5. Take your time. Friendship takes time because it is a process. It also means taking time to listen just as Shakespeare once remarked“Taking time to listen is taking time to care.” Remember that investing your time to people for friendship will be your greatest expression of sharing God’s love to others.
6. Develop comfortable and sociable environment. Proverb 18:24 says it well: “A man who has friends must be himself friendly…” People have to feel that you are fun and wonderful to be with. When you are with someone or with a group, they have to feel a comfortable and sociable atmosphere.
7. Keep in touch. You might be busy everyday but a phone call will do for a person you’ve newly meet. If he/she has a mobile, or even an email etc. post a hello. Keeping in touch with someone, once in a while, could mean an act of caring to someone who needs your encouragement.
By Elmer R. Esplana, November 19, 2007
What is a friend? Robert Louis Stevenson once said that “A friend is the present you give to yourself.” Dr. Harold Sala of the Guidelines for Family Living fame quoted in his book Living Joyfully as a Single in a Couples’ World, an Arab proverb which says “A friend is one whom we may pour out the contents of our hearts, chaff and grain together, know that the gentlest of hands will sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away!” Actually, what a friend is varies for every person. What is important, however, is for you to at least have one. And if you look for real friendship, the following tips will help you to start one.
1. Take the initiative. Friendship begins as you reach out to someone else. He/She can be your officemate, neighbor, churchmate, classmate, etc. At first, you may be afraid, shy, or nervous but “just do it” anyway. Remember, it is exciting to take the first step towards something worth cherishing and experiencing.
2. Be willing to take risks. Building friendship involves hardwork as well as assuming risks. This is because someone may reject your offer of friendship and hurt you. This is part of life. Many people fear friendships because when one draw closer to someone, he/she has to be open, hence, he/she becomes vulnerable to rejection and heartaches. Openness is an essential key in finding a real friendship.
3. Look for commonalities. Friendship must be about something which involves two or more people who suddenly discover that they see things the same way. You can do that by listening carefully in the conversation for possible “friendship magnets” like hobbies, interests, etc.
4. Learn to communicate. Friendship requires open communication. If you are not keen in one-on-one, you can start developing small groups that could help you build your dynamic skills in one-on-one communication. Always remember that learning to communicate effectively is a process that takes time. Sometimes, you will commit communication errors. But that’s fine. Remember that majority of your errors can be resolved fairly and quickly, if you’re willing to say the magic words: “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”
5. Take your time. Friendship takes time because it is a process. It also means taking time to listen just as Shakespeare once remarked“Taking time to listen is taking time to care.” Remember that investing your time to people for friendship will be your greatest expression of sharing God’s love to others.
6. Develop comfortable and sociable environment. Proverb 18:24 says it well: “A man who has friends must be himself friendly…” People have to feel that you are fun and wonderful to be with. When you are with someone or with a group, they have to feel a comfortable and sociable atmosphere.
7. Keep in touch. You might be busy everyday but a phone call will do for a person you’ve newly meet. If he/she has a mobile, or even an email etc. post a hello. Keeping in touch with someone, once in a while, could mean an act of caring to someone who needs your encouragement.
Source:
(http://e-esplana.blog.friendster.com, www.smileyberks.com and News Peeper Newsletter publication)
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